He/She Cheated on Me: What pains more the Betrayal or the Hurt?

Often in relationships they end in-- or encounter some form of "Betrayal or Hurts." In dealing with infidelity, lies and deceit we are often stuck trying to figure out what is bothering us most, sometimes its both--the betrayal and the pain. "How could the one person I trusted most, do this to me?" "What did I do wrong?" "Will I ever trust again?" All these and many more questions lurk through the minds of those who are betrayed. The pain and the disappointment of knowing the individual you look at , share a life with, and lay next to for times of comfort and joy could possible break your heart. Well, they do and they can. It happens everyday. It happens in 10 month relationships to 40 year marriages. But, what hurts the most-- Betrayal or Pain?

Betrayal- as defined means " To divulge in a breach of confidence, commit treason against." Treason! That's a deep word--but totally appropriate. When in love we give not only our hearts, but our souls, our very spirits-and they take them as a "given" and abuse all aspects of the relationship. To be betrayed by the person who knows you best, to look into your eyes, and profess to never allow anyone or anything to hurt you and then for them themselves to be that "anyone or anything," is a "gut punch" to say the least. "How could you?" Thats a question commonly asked but never answered. When I say never answered I mean this; the "cheater" will always offered up so excuse be it valid or not--the answer they cough up will never be good enough nor will the person who has been cheated on ever feel as if you've given them a good reason, so it is as if the "cheatee" is still being cheated because the "cheater" never answered the question of "How?" Betrayal is the worst form of heartbreak. It can often cause the "cheatee" to never, ever trust a person ever again. And, in the end the "cheater" has ruined someones life far beyond the initial damage.It's easy to do the wrong thing--its harder to do the right.

Hurt-"To cause mental or emotional suffering to; distress." The hurt is the one part of the experience the person will never get over. You can move on in the relationship via. forgiveness or you can enter into a relationship of new; but, the pain will always exist. You may think you are over the experience-but it will only take one nostalgic moment to bring you back to the pain and hurt experienced at the hands of that person. Hurt is not just emotional but mental. The "cheatee," will often play moments in their heads to try and figure out the "whens, wheres, and hows?" Was it the time I was sick and you rushed off to a so called "emergent meeting?" Perhaps when you told me the car had broke down and I was dressed and ready for our date to the movies. All these thoughts cause "hurts." Why would someone forsake the goodness of another person for moments of self gratification. More times than not, the person your mate cheated on you with has not and will never go the miles or the distance you have gone for this individual-which makes it hurt all the more. I've died in your Heart- So leave in their arms.

In the end...all of it hurts, there's no "especially," in matters of being deceived and played for a fool. Betrayal is one of the many words that describes thousands of emotions. A cheater doesn't care nor do they think about the damage they can--or have caused their partners life---until they are caught! Their apologies, sorries, "please don't leaves" would have never taken face, had it not been for the ultimate snag and that is "getting caught!" Although they know what they are doing is wrong and it could ruin their future in their relationships, it doesn't matter, they want what they want. And, they get what they deserve when the "cheatee" decides to walk off and leave their behinds--behind! Forgiveness is a personal choice- and I must admit it is a risky one. But, I sincerely applaud any person who can forgive and attempt to move forward for it takes a "special" kind of person to do so. There is never a good reason to lie, cheat nor deceive but if you'r ever caught on the losing end these verbs, remember its okay to cry, its okay to hurt, its okay to feel all the emotions of losing someone- because essentially you are burring the person they were and they have been resurrected into the person they are. You must grieve. But, after the rain- comes rainbows. No one deserves to be mislead or mistreated, and as you begin to heal-let go of the anger you feel against them. Instead direct it into love. Love for your life, love of your family, and complete love of yourself. Life has many chapters, some drama, some romance, some funny, some heartache, but they all are apart of the book that makes you, we are not all promised a "happily ever after," but we are for sure promised to have what we deserve, and you deserve better! - Trina B

DATE SWAP: NEW REALITY SHOW; LADIES SWAP CITIES TO FIND LOVE

FOR ALL MY LADIES; who say that they can't find a romantic relationship that works for them in their city;perhaps you should watch "Holidate." The show will premiere on Soap Net and it features two ladies one from the west coast & the other from the east (Tai Beauchamp.) The moved into each others homes and date each others friends. It was based off the movie"The Holiday." To hear more follow the link below:

http://omg.yahoo.com/videos/swapping-cities-in-search-of-mr-right/8251

***************UPDATE*******************

The young lady photoed above Tai Beauchamp,well... according to the budget fashionista.com; she is the Deputy Editor at Vibe Vixen Magazine here is what they say about Ms. Beauchamp,

• "Tai Beauchamp KNOWS fashion and beauty. As the Deputy Editor of Vibe Vixen Magazine, she oversees the editorial direction of the magazine. Prior to VIBE Vixen, Tai served as the Beauty Director of Seventeen Magazine and was a founding Beauty Editor of O, The Oprah Magazine. Tai’s also worked in the fashion and beauty departments of Harper’s Bazaar and Good Housekeeping Magazine.

Umm Uhhh..just when I thought this show catered to the everyday woman. Oh,well ladies!

Sex, Lust,& Video Tape: Trey Songz Cums Hard

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Two for the Price of One: Why is Hairdressers Doubling as Relationship Therapist?

It’s a trend that has been going on since bumper curls, and straightening combs; “my hairdresser, my therapist.” Many times women don’t feel comfortable talking to their close friends and family about their personal relationships. Most likely for good reason, bad advice, or fear of reviling secrets in their relationship double has a vaccination, for talking about wounds that time has healed, (Example: Jody has cheated on you in the past, but you’ve never told a soul. ) You probably never told anyone because of:

• A.) The family loves him and you would not want to taint their image of him due to his mistake, (Everyone makes mistakes, Right?)
  

• B.) Everyone hates him and told you he was the worst choice you’ve made, (since drinking light and dark liquors at the same time.)
  

• C.) You too embarrassed to ever admit that you are having the same issues that your single girlfriends, or bad relationship girlfriends are having.
  

• Whatever you’re reasoning is the hair stylist is neutral territory. He/she is the one person whose judgment doesn’t go any further than the shops chair. They have no connection to your personal friends (most time) and your secrets are safe, (*Side Note: this article is not about the trouble making, big mouthed hair dressers we know exist, because in reality they are far and few between.) Women love to sit in the chair and release all their pressures; mental, physically and spiritually. Hairstylists across the world are acting out the roles of paid psychiatrist. They are expected to listen attentively, and ask probing question to cause the individual to and & aid you in rethinking your position. While treating your mane they are helping you plan, and put life into focus. Happily, hairdressers pass their time while listening to you; and while they hear you, they begin to draw from their own life experiences. So in reality the patient becomes the Dr. and vice-versa. Two for the price of one has a literal has well as a metaphoric meaning.
  

• If you are one who can’t wait to sit in the beauticians chair and let go of all your life’s troubles, perhaps you should take into consideration that there are professional you can talk to about life, love and relationships and your weavologist or whatever you refer to her as, may have her own issues, and yours is not one of them.
  

• Cosmetologist, you have two talents, one of course is making beautiful women feel more wonderful, and the other is the gift for being attentive and patient with their troubles. But, keep it in prospective. Listen without lending opinions from personal experience—as not to be the blame of poor outcomes.
  

• When it comes to love and life, you may travel many paths some roads are bumpy and some rather smooth, but it is the decisions that you make along the way that defines the method of travel. Be an ear for everyone, but remember your ears are closer to your own lips. Listen and trust yourself before you seek the advice of others, chances are you know the answer, you are just looking for confirmation. –Trina B.
  

• Hushhh Publications. All rights reserved 29-08-09
  
  

Content To Take The Lead Role: Can A Relationship Survive The Limelight?

• With the long anticipated break of Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian, one has to wonder what went wrong. Some say, “the long distant relationship,” some add.” She was too busy for him,” but most speculate it was her love for the glitz and glamour and his despondency to it. Now—the question that swirls in many minds is, Can a relationship survive if the two are not equally yoked?
  

• Over the years I’m sure we have all heard an elder around us or in the community say, “you have to be equally yoked,” but what does that mean; to most of us below 30 years of age, not a got damn thing.
  

• Experience teaches us in time that “equally yoked” clearly means, be made with the same stuff in the inside. It is difficult for someone to agree with or understand a language they don’t speak, the same goes in relationships. If one person is a workaholic, and the other is a home body, it will not be long before the two worlds collide. Very seldom can opposites truly attract if their differences are what makes the core of them. Yes, it hold true that an introvert paired with extrovert could and do have a long lasting relationship, that’s due to the laws of nature—everything most and do balance. The introvert desires to be the extrovert but is normally to afraid, therefore being coupled with the opposite brings them excitement, and an opportunity to break free and experience new things; that they may have never experienced if they had not joined forces. In contrast the extrovert needs to hold back, the introvert is a calmer, they bring silence when everything else around the extrovert is noisy, Fire and Water.
  

• Now let’s look at “core differences.” Some people adapt to certain surroundings such as, rural living over city life, warm climates over cold, I mean the list goes on. These core differences can ruin a relationship. When you ask someone to change their values and morals opposed to changing characteristics, you will always have discord. This is the difference between “opposite attraction,” and being “equally yoked.”
  

• You must balance each other in morals and values to have a healthy happy relationship. If you don’t, the things you found cute in the beginning will quickly turn into the things you hate. Example, he/she drinks from the milk carton, you believe this to be grotesque. How long before you explode, from this “heinous” act, not long is my guess.
  

• Reggie and Kim are no different, if she loves the camera and he doesn’t, for the sake of love he will try to adapt, (thee ole’ paint over your stripes I call it.) But, in the end you cannot change the heart of you, you are who you are; eventually the paint fades and the zebra reemerges. A lion can never mate with a stripped horse, after some self actualization he/she will soon gallop into the sun in search of his very own zebra, realizing there are plenty of them in the jungle of love and life. -Trina B.

Hushhh Publications. All rights Reserved. 28-8-09

Im looking for Ms.Tootsie's

I see a gentleman dressed in all black with a hat, doo–rag and Gucci frames nestles himself at the bar stool next to mine—he flashes a captivating smile, head nod and an almost silent “hello,” he speaks, I smile back, and say, “hello.” DJ Spontan plays Capone N Noreaga’s 2009 release “Rotate,” at Club Lyrics in Philadelphia, Pa., the party goers are excited and receptive of the melody “Super Thug is back” sang by producer and rap artist Ron Browz & featuring the animated Busta Rhymes (third album titled “Channel 10,” due out later this year). I witness the seemly ordinary man, orders six shots of cognac and finding a moment in his apparent flirting to offer me a drink. His rather small frame heavily draped in diamonds—throws back a shot of Hennessey and distributes shots to his entourage. As he continues to (what sounds like whispering) correspond with me, I ask him to come closer to my ear, for he is inaudible. Immediately he tells me, he has “a low voice”, so excuse him if I cannot hear him very well. As we converse close enough to be mistaken as a “couple,” I introducing myself. After he had mistakenly took me for a model (classic flirt tactic, but we girls love it!), I explained to him my true career, and Hushhh TV. He said, “Tell me what you need me to do, and it’s done, I want to be a part of your show.” I thought to myself, great! As the song continued to play he said “that’s me,” (referring to the rhymes being displayed on the song) I said “oh okay.” I felt really dumb at that moment, He was Capone of CNN. I, without hesitation go into reporter mode. I began by asking him, what is the one thing people might not know about your bedroom habits? He replied, “I have a foot fetish!” I instantly pull in closer to assure myself that I heard him correctly, and said, “A foot fetish?” with an apparently intrigued grin, he said “yup!” Before I could gather my next thought I began to feel his hands rubbing across my sandal cover foot; he began admiring my pink polished toes. He says, “I hope I am not disrespecting you by touching your feet,” I said with a huge laugh, “no as long as you don’t touch anything else,” He agreed. Capone and I spoke in depth referencing, how he likes to” lick toes” and loves a beautiful woman with well groomed feet. I found our discussion informative as well as humorous. Capone is a man who knows what he wants and has no problem using his charm to get it. Later, that evening I got Capone in front of the Hushhh TV camera and that’s where his love for the “little piggy’s” was truly displayed. Stay tuned for part two of the “Capone De-Feet, Is not Always a Loss” interview, believe me it will takes you guys to an all time low. –Trina B.
Hushhh Publications a division of MEINC all rights reserved.

Dreams of Fuckin' A Model Chick

As I sit patiently waiting for my next guest, I see a relatively young, fair-skinned woman; sporting a Rihanna like short Mohawk mane, wearing a silver sequined mid-drifted jacket and boy cut shorts to match. Very confident in her skin, the tattooed stomach woman approaches— we are introduced, my name is “Mona Lisa,” she says. Mona is a petite “Straight Stuntin’ Magazine” model, doubling as an exotic dancer in one of Philadelphia’s most infamous spots, “Club Onyx.”Before our sit down I watched this charismatic entertainer, wow the Fellas with her booty popping and slow winding, the playboy bunny stamp on her lower back only enhances their lust, flashing a sexy captivating smiles at her crowd of admirers, she is pleased by her orgasmic hypnotic abilities.Mona Lisa and I sit down to a brief interview before the cameras of Hushhh TV begin to roll. I asked her, “How comfortable are you speaking on sexuality,” she replied, “Very!” With that bold word in mind, I begin to “go in” on Ms. Mona. I asked her about oral sex and what are her turnoff’s and on, in a man. After giving a definitive description of the type of guy she is looking for, we moved to her future. With multi-media aspirations of her own, Mona Lisa will be headed to Miami in coming months. Upon our completion of off camera dialogue, I closed by asking, “What advice would you give to the females out there who do not have a great technique in giving oral sex” she said,…. Watch Hushhh TV for the reply and more, from the vivacious, sexy, Mona Lisa, Ms. Jackson if your nasty. -Trina B.
Hushhh Publications a division of MEINC all rights reserved.